(-56 lbs.) It's Clobbering Time

We have a universal-style weight machine and treadmill in our garage. The two behemoths once resided in our family room where they stood in place of furniture.

About two years ago, my wife and I were sitting on the couch in the family room watching The Biggest Loser reality show on CBS. It was one of the episodes that condensed an entire season into a single show- at least that's how I remember it. Those of you familiar with the program know that the idea is to lose the most weight within the course of the program. The winner/biggest loser wins a sum of money. Pretty much all the contestants lose weight- sometimes remarkable amounts of weight, and in some way improve their lives, or appreciate the benefits of good health for as long as they are willing.

Anyway, the show inspired us. We decided we wanted to lose weight, and how better to do it than imitate what we saw on tv? During the episode we watched, the show producers surprised the contestants by converting a room in their home into a gym. So a week later, we donated our large sectional couch (with the built-in recliner) to charity and moved in our weight machine and treadmill. We decided we would watch tv as we exercised. People thought we were weird.

Well, we did this for a little over a year and actually WORE OUT the machines. The treadmill would no longer run for more than thirty minutes at a time. The butterfly attachment on the weight machine snapped at the welds. They were toast.

But you know what? I actually gained weight; about fifteen pounds of it. I got stronger, for sure. I was to the point where I was pushing the entire stack of weights, maxing-out the machine, whenever I was working out. But I was still fat.

The problem was that the family room was right next to the kitchen and central to the rest of the house. I passed by the pantry dozens of times during the day and usually I grazed as I did; a handful if chocolate chips followed by a handful of cashews followed by... on and on all day long.

My equation was balanced at a level suitable for a bull elephant- and that was what I was becoming. Either and elephant or maybe the Thing from the Fantastic Four. Either one was the exact opposite of what I thought I was working towards. So I decided that more aerobic-type activity was the answer.

My wife and I decided to join a gym rather than buy new exrcise equipment. They had better and stronger machines than we could afford and we considered the cost of membership an added incentive to actually go- and go we did, five days a week. We both did the same workout, about 45 minutes on an aerobic machine (elliptical, stairmaster, treadmill, or bike) followed by 20 minutes with the weights--- and it WORKED--- for my wife. I continued to gain weight. Not as much as when we were at home, but the scale was still climbing. I was becoming a monster.

Some friends and junk mail changed my life.