Good Morning! My name is Steve, I've got 30 pounds to go and 127 days to do it. I've got nothing terribly witty to say but I'm down to having just one chin so I smile a lot more.

Huh? (awkward pause) Moving on...

I follow my morning exercise routine with a smoothie. This is my first meal of the day so I like to get a balance of carbs, fat and protein and I've been able to do it with a fair amount of reliability with a subset of readily available ingredients blended together in my Magic Bullet.

The thing is, I'd like to get a little more variety. So I thought I'd try and switch out some ingredients for some I haven't tried and see how it goes. Today I had my typical smoothie:

1/2C Frozen Blueberries
1Serv EAS Premium Protein
1Serv Ground Flax
1T Fresh Ground Unsalted Peanut Butter
1/2 Small Banana
Water

All of the ingredients were found at Costco. I'll pick up some other stuff for tomorrow and post my recipe after I make a new smoothie. I'm also interested in trying other people's recipes- so if you have a favorite, please post it in a comment.

(insert colorful expression of contempt and rage here followed by several exclamation points and other characters found above the numbers on the keyboard and continue stringing them along for several paragraphs until I'm completely spent and reduced to heaving sobs then man-up and get it together and prattle on about positive attitude and overcoming stumbling blocks when my glass appears half-empty and nothing including the scale is going my way until I feel better and motivated to get back into the ring and slug it out for another round and shuck and jive while life keeps trying to kick me in the nards and.......breathe)

OK. Whew. I think I'll forego the self instruction and just skip right along. Whew, again.

It was a slushy and slippery run this morning and a little disappointing once I got to the gym. Had I bothered to blog on Monday I probably would have mentioned the brand-new circuit training class that has freshly begun in the weight room- led by (and this is my frustration-tainted opinion) a spandex-packing "exer-tard" who appeared to know nothing about proper weight lifting technique or machine use, who tittered on about her inexperience and about how it was the machines' fault for not working the way she expected (in this Edith Bunker-esque shrill) while warbling jargon that could only be characterized as a combination of bag-lady-speak and a made-up language twins might use when speaking to each other. (slow...deep...breaths)

OK. I'm sorry. I'm sure she's a lovely person full of good intent and closing the weight room for her and her solitary student on Monday was right and justified and a only mild impediment but grrrr! The thing is, this morning she had four students and was adamant that the weight room was now and every Monday and Wednesday available only to her and her class. I was turned away. Me- a guy who's faithfully been at the gym as often as six days a week as soon as it opens since last May and... and... oh screw it! I'm over it now. Adapt and overcome.

The silver lining to this nonsensical storm cloud is that the girl at the check-in counter is going to have the weight room open at 5:30 rather than 6:00 (a much better time for me anyway) and the truly cool thing is that I was down a pound this morning. Oh, and thanks to the immediate burst of anger-induced adrenalin, I think my run home from the gym was the fastest-ever and it felt great! My glass is again half-full.

Also, I should say that I'm a fairly even-tempered guy and rarely do my feathers get ruffled. Any perceived tirade contained in my blog is just a little steam that would have condensed and cooled on it's own. No need to hide sharp objects and no, I won't be kicking the dog. I hope the exer-tard and her class are outrageously successful or, at least, figure out how to use the machines.

That's right! No program, pill, or procedure will take off the weight. They just don't work- they can't work and you'll not only fail to lose any weight but you may also gain a few pounds. Surprise!

This statement is best taken in the context of LASTING weight loss. Sure, you can pop a few dexa-ephedra-whats-its and chase it with Diet Coke and SlimFast smoothies for a week and shed a few pounds. The thing is (and this is totally my personal and mayhap hallucinatory opinion) any result you get is absolutely and unfortunately temporary. Why? Because that kind of change in behavior and body chemistry is temporary. It's like getting a tan while you're on vacation; a week or two after you get back and out of the sun, you're less bronze god and more Pilsbury Doughboy.

The truth is that unless you permanently modify your behavior, you'll continue to gain weight and whatever plan you sign up for or buy into, well, you had better realize that it's the rest of your life, baby, and not just a quick fix two weeks before bikini season. So onward and upward- I've changed my eating habits and exercise based on a plan I initiated eight months ago. I've made a little progress but realize that it is not a plan that expires when my goals have been met or when bikini season starts (which for me is NEVER- you're welcome!) but a plan that I must maintain for the rest of my life.

Judging from my slowed progress, it's a plan I may need to ramp-up a little.

That's right, every diet plan, gut buster, thigh masher, 8-min bun wrencher and fill-in-the-blank pill you see advertised on TV, on the interweb, and in print works. Use them. follow them, or swallow them and you'll drop weight like... geez, I don't know. Like it was too heavy to hold onto anymore. Guaranteed!

Individual results may vary.

But do they really work? I don't know from personal experience but I believe they do. I mean, I see Eddie Van Halen's ex-wife on TV and she's telling me that Jenny's helping her. I believe her because Alex over at Diggnation mentioned Jenny helped him too. I believe it because it has worked for people. I have friends who've lost lots of weight in various programs and surgeries. Some friends got so excited about the program they joined that they decided to become advisors and are helping others lose weight. I believe their program works because I've seen their results. Even though I never joined their program, I credit them with motivating me to get my butt into gear and start and stick to my own weight loss efforts.

I'm not a doctor but I have a doctor who told me I needed to lose weight and agreed with how I decided to go about it. I could have joined a program but decided to go at it on my own. The thing about me, I guess, is that I really didn't want to have to rely on someone else to pull me out of this giant hole of fat I'd dug for myself. I was/am embarrassed because for ME, letting myself go like I had over the years meant that I was out of control, and when it comes to ME, I am a total freak about being in control (of myself).

So here I am. I'm working at changing myself physically and I'm doing it in a way that makes sense to me. Emotionally I feel great when I see positive results at the scale and in the mirror and when my pants get to feel a little baggier. When things go the other way- when I've gained some weight or progress has halted, when I realize, too late, that I've just eaten half a pumpkin pie, or when it becomes just way too easy to skip the gym and get an extra hour of sleep- well that's when I get mad and I do something, anything to get my oars back in the water. If I'm going to live whatever years I have left in somewhat reasonable health, I know that I have to make some changes in my life- something beyond joining some program or gym. I have to make permanent changes and follow through- forever.

I guess that's what I'd like to remember from today's rambling mess of blather; that what I'm doing isn't a diet, it isn't a program with a beginning and end, it doesn't involve a coach or trainer who has a number of other clients and will ultimately move on to a more grateful trainee. What it is, Steve of the future, is me answering to me and gathering inspiration and motivation and gumption from everywhere for as long as it lasts and using it to change ME each and every day for the rest of my life.

I really enjoy reading about the experiences so many write about in their blogs. They're inspiring, comforting, and abundantly helpful. Future-Steve owes thanks to them all.

A moderately occupied gym, a friendly scale, and a friggin' cold jog made for a... Well, let's just say that two out of three made for an awesome way for the day to begin.

There has been recent news coverage touting surgery as a cure for diabetes. I'm thinking it's more a side effect of resultant weight loss- as does a doctor quoted in this linked article.

I have two friends that underwent weight-loss surgery and both experienced remarkable results. I don't know exactly how much they lost but visually they are mere fractions of their former selves. I also don't know whether or not either had diabetes but both said the surgery dramatically changed their lives--- in the way they ate. No longer could they gorge themselves with large meals. They had to eat comparatively tiny portions more frequently throughout the day; eating more than just a few ounces caused heartburn and discomfort and they had to eat more often to keep their blood sugar level and avoid hunger pangs. They continue this surgery-forced behavior still and are looking pretty thin.

Now I'm thinking that another side effect this type of surgery is a behavior modification requiring the patient to eat small meals more often resulting in dramatic weight loss. Hmm. And dramatic weight loss can cure diabetes? So, is it possible to cure diabetes and avoid surgery by jumping directly to the behavior modification? What I gather from the article is that the weight loss has to be significant. Those in the study lost more than 20% of their body weight and 7 inches from their waistline and for 73% of them, their diabetes was cured.

I haven't had diabetes and I haven't had surgery. I have modified my eating habits to be similar to those who've had the surgery and thus far have lost more than 20% and 7" from the middle of the old body. I don't want surgery and I don't want diabetes so I think I'll keep on with what I've been doing.

Great time at the gym this morning. I made my shift at the stair machine fly by watching an episode of Garth Marenghi's Dark Place on my Ipod. That I find the show hilarious is probably a little telling of my own mental peculiarities. Nevertheless, I found myself laughing out loud at times- which was probably a little disconcerting to those around me and practically guarantees I'll have the gym to myself tomorrow.

Moving on...

I scanned the NY Times article highlighting the "Fatosphere" this morning. The message was of self acceptance among overweight bloggers; citing a trend towards abandonment of dieting and exercise in favor of just "getting on with life".

Hmm, alrighty then.

I guess I'm OK with that- the whole self acceptance thing. I mean, I am fat and I accept that I am fat. I realize that I was fat yesterday and I'll be fat tomorrow (though slightly less). OK. But you know what? I also accept the fact that I don't have to stay fat if I decide to do something about it and I refuse to impose acceptance of my fatness on anyone else. For ME my fatness is the result of a lifestyle choice and does not warrant any special consideration, rights, privileges, or concessions based solely on that choice or the physical manifestation of that choice.

I ate too much. I moved too little. I became fat. Now I'm eating less, moving more, and losing weight. It's a more difficult lifestyle but one I'm embracing because my health, mood, and outlook are improving as a result.

A quick peek at the onboard dictionary reals:

acceptance |akˈseptəns| noun - agreement with or belief in an idea, opinion, or explanation : acceptance of the teaching of the church. Approval or favorable regard : the options proposed by the report gained acceptance. Willingness to tolerate a difficult or unpleasant situation : a mood of resigned acceptance.

Hmm, I'm beginning to percolate now. Does my fatness or dieting or any of this require the acceptance of anyone outside of my own skin? Oh hell no. As a matter of fact, I've decided to reject the entire notion of "self acceptance" as well. From this point forward I "accept" nothing. Things as they are now are temporary. Things will be as I make them to be. I will continue to set goals and design my life's outcomes and work toward the betterment of myself and those around me. Acceptance is better left to those whose lives have reached their apex- for I have yet to see the top. For me, self improvement is getting on with life while acceptance comes only at life's end.

Don't get me started on "self-esteem".

With my new goal and more importantly my desire to accomplish it, I set off for the gym this morning in some of the coldest weather I've experienced this winter. It was nearly enough to send me back to the warmth of home and more than adequate to suck the breath right out of my lungs. Still I pushed on.

Atta boy, Steve! You're so determined and your mother thinks you're special. (Thank you very much!) Sometimes you just have to pat yourself on the back for no particular reason.

I'm back at tracking both food and exercise on FitDay. It's amazing what effect the act of tracking has on the diet. I'm certainly and immediately more aware of every calorie. That in itself is enough of a deterrent to over-consumption.

Last Monday I posted a short term goal stating my ambition to lose 4 pounds by Saturday (yesterday). My loss for the week was only 3 pounds making my goal unfulfilled.

Dammit!

The good thing is that I lost weight and I feel pretty good about that. That's the thing about goals; even if you only get close, something good has happened along the way. It also gives one the opportunity to ponder the circumstances of your "failure" to determine whether or not the goal was reasonable and the methods of attainment were plausible, and efforts adequate.

My assessment?

Considering that historically I've average about 2.5 during a losing week my goal of 4 was perhaps a little ambitious. Was it reasonable? Sure. Do-able? Definitely. But was it practical? I believe that while it is something I COULD accomplish, I don't know that it is something I SHOULD accomplish considering the unlikely sustainability of such a loss. I believe my personal needs would be better met by setting a more sustainable goal; perhaps 3 pounds.

My methods were typical of patterns fostered early on- that is' I watched what I ate and exercised consistently. That could be reason enough for failure right there. I should have made additional efforts towards accomplishing the goal- and I did not. Moreover, I may have been lax in portion control and I neglected to keep a journal of my food intake. Therefore I'll make the following changes to this particular goal for this week:

Goal: Lose 3 pounds by Saturday's weigh-in.

Why: My current weight is dangerous to my health and I just don't want to carry it around any more. The pain associated with being overweight and the potential for greater pain greatly outweighs any pleasure I may derive from overeating. I know I can accomplish this goal in a safe and healthy manner. I will accomplish this goal.

Method: Accurately measure portions. Faithfully record my food intake. Continue regular exercise. Stick to the plan.

My focus will be on my methods this week.

Lately I've been kvetching about how empty the gym has been. Some of you have offered explanations why and even suggestions of pre-workout showering (many thanks for those by the way!) to eliminate the possibility that I might somehow be responsible. Stubborn knot-head that I am, I didn't take that advice nor did I stop commenting about the dwindling gym population.

It was packed this morning.

The drill sergeant from the aerobics class had her group in there along with several other people who drop in irregularly. It made for a wild time and an opportunity to rue any remarks I'd made regarding how lonely it's been. Not only had the numbers increased but there were also a few folks who were in pretty good physical shape- almost intimidatingly so. That part I don't mind so much. Here's why-

I'm insanely competitive and when I say "insanely" I mean it only in a mildly irrational kind of way. I don't know that I really want to beat my imagined competitors- rather, I just view their abilities and accomplishments as something I want to emulate. You know, set goals for myself; only accomplish them faster and more efficiently. This is something at which I'm not always successful but thanks to the knot-headedness mentioned earlier, something I'm not bound to give up on anytime soon either.

The gist? Being around all those fit, motivated people helps me feel motivated as well. My workout this morning was probably one of the best I've had in weeks and I'm grateful for the little bump in motivation.

I've titled this entry "Focus, Decide, Do" primarily because those three little words in that particular order are responsible for all the progress I've made so far. Here I am, almost eight months in my restoration, already slightly less the man I was and it's all because I'm focusing on what I want to achieve, I've decided that my goals are worthwhile and achievable, and I'm doing what it takes to achieve them. Effectiveness requires all three in their proper proportions or things get a lot tougher- and who needs tougher?

It reminds me of the rudimentary formula for fire- something most of us were taught in grade school. That is, for fire to exist, three components must come together:

Fuel + Oxygen + Heat

The right quantities of each will cause just about anything to burn. The same is true with achieving goals, at least for me. I know from past experience that whatever I set my mind to, and focus on, I'm likely to achieve; so long as I remove distraction and take the steps necessary to achieve it. This simple concept has created powerful results in my life and when I review this journal at some future date, I want to be reminded of its' importance.

What DO I have left to lose? Well, about 35 pounds if I did the math right. (Um, let's see... 150 minus 115...carry the one...no...yes...yes...almost there...) Yep, 35 pounds- that's right! Yes, thirty five pounds and I can check off my goal of losing 150 pounds before my next birthday. One hundred and fifty big ones. One hundred fifty pounds and I'll be able to call myself merely "over-weight" rather than some variation of "obese". Woo-hoo! Party time! Go nuts!

Wait! What?

OK, here's the thing- Yes, 150 pounds is a hell of a lot of weight. I ought to know, I've carried it around for a while. It wasn't an easy thing to do even after spreading it over my entire 6"5' frame. But I was a big boy and somehow I managed. Kudos to me. There comes a time, though, when it just hits you- say after you've outgrown everything in your closet and even your sweats are feeling a little snug. Yeah, that dark little moment when you realize that it's time to turn this truck around; that you'd better change something before you jack-knife right there on the highway and spill your entire load- or worse. When you realize that stroke, heart disease, diabetes and all those other obesity related horrors don't just happen to those other fat guys down the block.

So here I am burdened with the knowledge that years of fast food and sitting on my ass has somehow lumped me in with all those other fat guys on death row who are clanking their cups against the bars demanding just one more calzone and a conjugal visit from the Grim Reaper and I'm thinking Attica, Attica, get me outta this fat suit and grant me just one more reprieve so I can someday see my feet when I pee and live to see my kids graduate from college.

Whew! That was a caffeinated moment.

Well, obtuse metaphors, obscure references, and mild insanity aside, my motivation for self-repair is very real and fire-hot. My goal of losing this particular quantity of bio-mass (150 lbs.) is but part of a greater renaissance and each pound lost is a step towards that new beginning.

My plan includes a brief period of being overweight. I'm looking forward to it and looking back makes me want to run all that much faster. I'm 35 pounds from husky and I just can't wait.

The gym was vacant when I got there this morning with a few people trickling in later. It seems that most of the people in the building are in the screaming lady's aerobics class. I think that's just awesome. She works them really hard and does a lot of screaming- most of which is behind closed doors and on the opposite end of the building. Again, just awesome.

The scale tipped just a little this morning- not enough to call another pound lost but enough to motivate me to press out a few more reps with each set. It felt pretty good. Running the last couple of days has been treacherous, though. We've got just enough ice on the road to make every run an audition for a youtube video. I find myself trotting along in a combination three-point stance and stick-up-the-butt pogo hop in an attempt to avoid breaking my hip or skidding out of control and ending up on watching myself on break.com from the comfort of a hospital bed.

On a brighter note, I've moved on to another stack in my closet of clothing history. I figure I've gone back about eleven years in size and style. Luckily, I've been rather conservative fashion-wise throughout adulthood and what I wore back then is probably what I'd go out and buy today. Oxfords and Polos, khakis and jeans. Wow I'm dull. I wonder though... if I lose enough weight and thus go back further in time, could I fit into my old parachute pants, ripped 501's, and multi-layered Izod polos? Hey, what about that old Members Only jacket, the Miami Vice pastels, Top-siders, and going sock-less. Ah, the early 80's. Perhaps I've outgrown things in more ways than one.

Right now I'm all about shrinking and I've got a ways to go.

Another "Max-out The Machines Monday" day. That single set at the weight station's maximum capacity makes me feel all kinds of neanderthal. I feel like wrestling a rhino while firing a chain gun into a a bombed out tank loaded with C4 followed by screaming out, "Adrian!" Rocky-style into the gathering crowd. When the rush is gone I then collapse into a heap of aching muscles, stretched sinews and quivering flab only to smile a weak little smile and whisper to no one in particular, "That'll do, pig, that'll do."

End scene. Moving on...

Over time (238 days) I've become somewhat lax in several of the activities I originally lined out for myself as part of my renaissance. My current stagnation, I believe, is but one consequence of such disregard. So as 2008 is still relatively fresh, my focus is to return to my beginnings, so to speak, and re-establish some of the healthy habits that have helped me lose weight and add strength, focus, and purpose to my efforts. These habits include but are not limited to the following:

1. Daily Journal. My favorite motivation guy from "down-under" calls it a "Performance Diary". Personally, it's my portable in-basket, a notebook that catches all my thoughts, consumption records, and exercise tallies for the day. Some of this gets transcribed into FitDay for easy analysis of my nutrition and exercise efforts. The rest goes into the appropriate position of my GTD system.

2. Adequate Water Consumption. I've been using a 32-oz. Nalgene bottle as my hydration vessel lately. I'm switching back to the 48-oz.'er pronto. Since I tend to drain whatever size bottle is within reach, I may as well go for the big one.

3. Laying Off The Sweets. The season made it so very easy to indulge in cookies and other goodies. With the holidays behind me I should take the lack of associated sweets as an opportunity to refocus on the healthier snacks.

4. Short Term Goals. This week one of my goals is to lose four pounds by Saturday. Sunday, I'll include goal setting for the following week as part of my planning session.


...and more.

Three people at the gym today. I'm beginning to think that it's me scaring them off- for no other reason than self-centric deprecation. Center of the universe? Between my ears, baby!

I really should seek help. Moving on...

I'm also ending the week at a -114 lb. stalemate. Being down just a pound this week is nothing less than kick-in-the-ass motivating- so I did an extra set at each of the weight stations this morning to celebrate my new-found desire and succeeded in lifting a cumulative 52,400 lbs. and wearing myself out. The run home was welcome relief.

I'm helping out with my (2) son's scout troop tomorrow on their final day of Christmas tree recycling. I usually man one of the drop-off points- mainly because it is the most physically active of the options available. It's four hours of outdoor exercise; loading trees into a trailer and constant broom pushing. Definitely a nice contrast to the gym but not something I'd like to do regularly.

It's incredible just how sedentary life can become and you really have to look for/make opportunities for movement. I've been making it a point to do whatever I can to add additional physical steps to my daily activities- they're little things but hopefully will add up to a healthier me. For example:

Park my car as far away from the entrance as possible
Walk to the file cabinet instead of wheeling my chair to it
Take breaks from the desk stuff and walk around as often as productivity requirements allow.
At-desk calisthenics

...and other opportunities for movement when they appear.

I'm always looking for other ideas that can easily be incorporated into the typical day. Any suggestions?

Gym population is shrinking to pre-resolution numbers. Funny thing is, I wouldn't mind a few more people. It kind-of adds to the energy of the place.

I was looking online for a cheaper source than Costco for my protein mix and ended up looking around the manufacturer's website. As I was doing this, one of their commercials came on the television. Weird coincidence or target marketing? You be the judge. Anyway, they are sponsoring a 12-week challenge that actually looks pretty interesting. Included in their entry packet are meal and exercise plans and tips to help you along the way.

As I looked through the packet I was amazed that I was already doing a lot of what they suggest. I eat the same foods in similar intervals, I work out using a lot of the same exercises and follow a very similar schedule. The obvious difference lies in the consumption of a variety of supplements- of which they have an abundance, while I only use their protein powder. Still, it was interesting. I can't say it's vindication-- more a realization that I may not be capable of conjuring an original thought.

I'm considering giving it a go.

Down a pound this morning. Max'd-out three weight machines on my final sets and managed not to soil myself. Continence typically isn't an issue but hey, with all the grunting I was doing under the weights, who knows? I probably sounds... ew!

That's all I want to say about that.

I went to the dentist for a cleaning this morning and I've got to say that all the tech is getting a little weird. The hygienist checked my gums for pockets which, considering my diet, should be chock-full of nutritional goodness; which isn't true at all as I learned from the DVD on periodontal disease which plays on an endless loop in front of the chair. She used a probe connected to a PC that gives out the reading in a pleasant female voice, "One, two, two, three, two, warning four." It was that "Warning four" that had me freaking out and testing the waters of incontinence again. Evidently I need to floss more diligently.

Then on to the cleaning- which was done with an ultrasonic pick-slash-chisel. Oy! Like a hell-born mosquito armed with a jackhammer it was. She had to tune it to get the noise down and once she did it was almost pleasant. If it wasn't for the slip and resultant fat lip I got during the polishing I'd be tempted to go back this afternoon for another round. As it is, I think six months will do quite nicely-- thank you very much.

I've been disciplined during the first few days of my personal 30-Day Challenge. I've continued with my weight loss regimen, began online Spanish instruction, started reading Richard Bachman's (aka Stephen King) "The Regulators", and continue to write a one-line journal entry (Doogie Houser style) nightly.

I'm also listening to David Allen's "Getting Things Done - The Art of Stress-Free Productivity" and am actually putting what I've learned thus far to use. The guy makes sense and now my in-baskets are consolidating and shrinking. I'm really looking forward to the stress-free pay off.

The scale edged down a little today- not enough to call another pound "lost" but down just the same. I'm really going to hone my efforts this month for no other reason than the intense desire to make myself a better person. My goals for January:

Lose 15 pounds
Take a foreign language class.
Read 1 novel
Write a daily one-sentence journal entry (#25 on this inspiring list)

I'm sure I'll follow up with the particulars of my progress as the month passes.

The herd at the gym is already beginning to wane. I'll have to admit that not waiting for an exercise station is bittersweet; some of the folks so red-faced and determined a couple of days ago might have benefitted from a little tenacity and I'd gladly take turns with someone wanting to change.

Excellent workout this morning! How crazy is it that I've actually come to enjoy repetitive, monotonous effort? Would I continue to do it six days a week if I didn't believe that my ends didn't justify my means? One might say I've conditioned myself to the process of weight loss- that my body is adapting to the task and achieving results that are momentarily satisfying.

So I find myself developing a theory in an attempt to explain what I believe I've been going through over the past seven months- and here's what I've got so far:

By eating six small meals spread throughout the day, I've conditioned my body to function on fewer external calories without feeling hunger pangs or the energy spikes and crashes that were so common before. Exercise becomes easier over time; conditioning has enabled me to run farther and lift more.

The human body is an amazingly adaptive physical machine. Over time it changes shape to accommodate it's environment. My ass got plump to adapt to sitting for long periods of time. My belly grew to provide ballast and a shelf for catching crumbs. My thighs developed to support my belly. My appetite grew to support fat production in the effort to condition my body for sitting. I became quite adept at sitting- physically, I was certainly becoming built for it.

But what happened when I changed tasks and environment? Walking, while difficult at first due to all the belly ballast and thigh friction became easier as my body conditioned itself to the task by shedding fat and toning leg muscle. As I started running, my body adapted by shrinking the belly fat that initially threw off my balance by flopping every-which-way. Lifting weights grew muscles required for the task and shed fat that was just getting in the way.

Thus by conditioning itself to the new set of tasks and eating habits I had adopted, my body changed shape and shed weight. It was merely adapting to its' environment. As I continue to increase activity levels and physical requirements, my body will continue to adapt. That is what conditioning is all about.

Conditioning is a gradual process. My personal experience in evolving from athletic to olympic-class couch sitter (a 190 pound accumulation of ballast) took twenty years. I suppose I could have done it faster but I just wasn't that ambitious. My level of ambition and focus is re-directed and exponentially higher now and my body is conditioning itself proportionately. Do I expect to reverse twenty years of prior conditioning in one year? Frankly, I don't think of it in those terms. I expect my body to condition itself to the environment I've created; one where activity is the focus. We'll just have to see how long it takes to adapt.

I must say that I like what's happening so far.

The scale edged up a little--- TEMPORARILY. I'll call it a gain of a pound and use that as motivation to get my rear in gear (and thus, outta here!) and adjust my focus for better results. My goal this week is to drop one pound by Friday.

I throw the word "focus" around quite a lot and offer my apologies - if that's required. It's one of those concepts that I really bought into way back when I first started reading about self improvement and later going to all the seminars and listening to tapes about that all-illusive successfulness that myself and all my peers clamored after. Tony, Tom, Zig and the rest were all about focus in one form or another; a consensus mindset that suggested that whatever I focused on was sure to be achieved. I came to believe just that.

I use retrospect quite a bit to figure out what either- landed me in whatever hot water I found myself in, or helped me to realize just how lucky a guy I truly am. I figure then it's just a case of focus and/or avoidance to get me where I need to be. In retrospect, it's no surprise that I prefer the focus side of the equation- since focus typically results in improvement; while avoidance, in saving my bacon, really only helps me maintain or restore a previous condition.

So here's to FOCUS, the all-powerful gateway my humble and meager success.

What could be better than earning a few bucks by writing about stuff that interests you? No really, I want to know because I think that would be really cool. You know though, money is pretty great stuff that makes it easy to buy stuff and earning it by writing sounds like a cool gig. If I could just come up with some really witty stuff to say about other people's stuff, why, I think I'd do it all the time and tell my jerk boss, Mr. Slate, to go park his Bronto-excavator where the... well, wherever he liked because I don't want to burn any bridges and I can rarely deliver any snide remarks without breaking into a giggle-fit.

Getting paid for posting blog reviews is what PayPerPost is all about. I've only been involved with the PayPerPost folks for a little while but I did write in my blog about a few things that sponsors were willing to pay schmoes like me to blog about. It was actually kind of fun and thanks to a full disclosure policy, there's never any confusion about when I'm writing for a sponsor and when I'm just blathering on about myself. If you ask me, I think it's worth a look. If you're not asking, hey, that is A-OK, 'cause I'm all about spreading the love.